Friday, January 09, 2015

Another nostalgic moment

There was a time back in 2009 that I am not willing to forget. It occur during that year Ramadhan, when I was still in my 2nd year of med school. It was my first day of exam before our 1 week vacation. For my holiday, me along with some of my friends were planning to visit Egypt, have fun there while visiting the country. We got all things planned up and can't wait to fly there! At the same time, my eldest sister was not well and latest news I received was that she has been hospitalized at Selayang for a while, and then transferred to Melaka as my father's request. She was having a severe jaundice, a condition where you skin and mucous layer turns yellow due to liver problem. The last she text me was during the day of my birthday, wishing me happy birthday and all of that. Nothing serious reported by my sister, so I just thought maybe I can still go on my vacation trip. Coming back on my exam, it started 2pm Bangalore time, and my first paper would be Pharmacology. Not the hardest, yet one of the confusing one, huhuhu. Reading about drugs and it side effect really made my head spinning and daze. My exam went well, and as per usual after the exam, me and my buddies went to Coffee Day nearby Ramaiah Hospital to get ourselves some treat, and refreshment before the second paper tomorrow, which will be the Forensic Medicine. As I walked back home, my heart felt some uneasiness and try to call up my Angah, but no answer. Back at home, everything was routine. Cooking dinner, eating, watching some videos, reading some books for the exam and so on. And then, a call came in around 9pm India time, upon which it was 11.30pm Malaysia time. My heart throbbed. My eyes became watery. My voice was breaking up. My words were scattered. Nothing can be described at that moment. My knee went down weak as I tried to understand every single words that my Angah conveyed. It sounded "Faiz, harap kau sabar, sebab angah nak bagitahu yang along dah takde dengan kita lagi." My heart crushed even more when she further said, "Along meninggal lewat malam semalam, Siang tadi arwah dah selamat dikebumikan lepas zohor. Maaf angah x bagitahu awal, sbb kau exam dan ayah xnak ganggu kau. Ayah ckp jgn bagitahu kau, tapi angah bagitahu jugak sebab takut nnt kau dpt tahu drp sumber lain. Maaf." I can't hold it much. I cried profusely on the back door. My housemates suddenly noted my cry try to calm me down. I went into my room and cry alone inside. So many thought and emotion rushed into my head at that moment. Feeling sad, angry, disappointed, unprepared, empty-minded, uncertain, and many more. I am still coping up for the lost of my mother, and now my Along passed on just like that. The only thing that I still remembered was the last sms that she sent to me on my birthday. Though I had already lost it physically, but in my head I can still remember the sms that said, "Happy birthday adik! Semoga berjaya dunia dan akhirat. Study hard!" Simple, but it is the last moment that I cherished it till now. Though at certain point I may have disappointed her, but I always said to myself that whatever road I choose and walk, I always know that they are going to support me no matter what. Even if the road is full of thorn and traps, but their support will become my blade that are going to cut all those thorny vine, clearing my path to success! 6 years has passed since that day. Not a single day that I am not missing her. Like my mother, she is part of my soul, part of who I am, part of my life, and although she is not what I expected, but she is my Along, and Along, thank you for all your teaching, you wisdom, and your courage that you had passed on to me. Remembering you will never be enough for me and us. We are going to do our best!!!!!! You are my strength and my inspiration, and I am thank you for that, and I am sorry for never be on your side on your last day. May Allah bless your heavenly soul. Rest in peace.

No comments: